The Stress-Free Guide to Choosing a Sleep Training Method
Does just the mention of sleep training cause you to break into a cold sweat? Like, where do I even start? There are SO many different methods and approaches, how am I ever supposed to choose?? How do I know which methods are evidence-based? Are all methods effective for all of babyhood?
If you think you may want to sleep train, but you’re not 100% sure – and you feel like “I have no idea where to even start!!” – this article is for you.
Hey, girl!
I’m Ashley Thompson – Catholic homeschooling mom, wife, and businesswoman, amateur gardener, aaaand Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant.
Today we’re going to talk about where to start when it comes to planning how and when you’ll sleep train your nugget.
Free Sleep Schedule Generator
Before we get started, I wanted to take a minute to share my joy – I just completed my favorite free resource I have ever created.
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Pause your reading and snag yours now – at www.playsleepgrow.com/sleep-schedule-quiz
Let’s get started.
My Story
Once upon a time I was pregnant with our first. I kept reading over and over again that insanely frustrating “advice” that said, “Sleep now! Because once your baby is born, you will never sleep again.”
Now, I have a complicated history with sleep. When I was in high school, I was obsessed with getting good grades. And I would regularly stay up until long after midnight – sometimes 1:00, 2:00, 3:00 AM to finish my homework to a level I was satisfied with.
It got to the point where I would get in trouble with my parents for staying up too late to finish my homework, and they ultimately wouldn’t allow me to take advance Calculus in a desperate attempt to lighten my load and get me to sleep.
Then college came. Undergrad was relatively easy, but graduate school for Speech-Language Pathology brought back the sleepless nights.
After graduating with my master’s degree, I was finally able to sleep normal hours. And it was AMAZING. And not only that, but I was no longer able to function as I once could on little sleep.
And now, one year later, I was being told that I wasn’t going to be able to sleep anymore because we’d been blessed with our first baby. And my thought was, “Hahaha. NO.”
I would figure this out. There’s no way this is the only way.
So I began to research. I waded through the different sleep training methods, looking for one that was logical and evidence-based.
Technically, CIO (Cry-It-Out) is evidence-based, but it didn’t fit my comfort level. And for all my therapist and healthcare provider friends, we know that optimal treatment not only requires evidence-base, but clinical experience and patient/family input as well.
So I kept researching.
And then I found the Sleep Sense Program, by Dana Obleman. It combined the Ferber Method with a Stay-in-the-Room method I hadn’t seen before with use of auditory and kinesthetic cues, with strategic feedback. All while allowing me to respond to my baby in a way that helped me feel confident that she knew mommy was still here for her.
My husband wasn’t initially on board, but after I translated my findings into language he could understand – he is an engineer – and he began to see progress in Emma’s sleep, he was hooked.
Your Story
Now that is my story.
Your story is different. And your family preferences may be different. So how do you find a method that’s a best fit for your child and family?
Keep reading - I’ll get you started.
Types of Sleep Training Methods
Sleep training methods are strategies that we use to structure our child’s sleep around their biological sleep patterns and needs, providing them with the environment, cues, and feedback to practice their new sleep skills and facilitate their learning as easily as possible.
Which sleep method you choose will depend primarily on 3 things:
1. How old your child is.
2. How quickly you want to make progress.
3. Your comfort level around protest crying. (A quick note: protest crying is different from hunger, pain, illness, and discomfort crying.)
So I’ve separated these strategies that I’ve come across in my reading and research into strategies that are effective with newborns, with infants, and with toddlers and older children.
For Newborns
There are 2 common strategies that work in the newborn phase – and not after.
1. The first is Drowsy-But-Awake. This tends to work for many babies in the newborn phase. After they hit the 4-month-regression, though, it stops working for most babies because they become increasingly aware of their environment. (To learn more about why this stops working after the 4-month regression, read How to Know When the 4-Month Regression is OVER.)
This method typically doesn’t include a lot of protest crying, and it doesn’t usually take a long time to implement. It doesn’t work for all babies, but it can be worth a shot.
2. The second newborn sleep method is called The Pick-Up-Put-Down Method. This method is described in detail in Tracy Hogg’s book The Baby Whisperer.
This method tends to include a significant amount of protest-crying, but it does allow you to respond immediately. It may take a little while to be effective.
For Infants
Now, infants – older than the newborn phase.
1. The first, and most well-known sleep training method is called CIO or Cry-It-Out, also known as the Extinction Method. This method is recommended in the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. This is where you place your baby in their crib awake, and leave the room, allowing them to cry until they eventually fall asleep.
It typically involves quite a bit of protest-crying, but it tends to work relatively quickly and has decent research-backing.
Some parents are comfortable with this method, and others are not. And that’s okay!
2. The other end of the spectrum is the No-Cry Method by Elizabeth Pantley. She suggests a method that is for anyone who is extremely uncomfortable with protest crying.
She does admit that it can take quite a while to be effective – on average about 3 months – and for some babies it’s simply not effective.
3. And then, there is a middle-ground method is called the Ferber Method by Dr. Richard Ferber. This one is pretty well-known, and chances are you’re already familiar with it. This is also called “controlled crying,” because it does allow some protest crying, and you are able to respond and comfort in intervals that slowly grow in length.
This tends to work relatively quickly, but since it is primarily focused on how you respond to your baby when they cry, it is not always effective.
4. The fourth method for infants is my personal favorite, and the one I use with my own children, as well as the children I am a sleep coach for – is the Sleep Sense Method by Dana Obleman. There are actually 2 primary methods used in this program – a Leave-and-Check Method and a Stay-in-the-Room Method. Which method you use is based on your child’s needs and your level of comfort.
What I found to be unique about these methods is that they also incorporate optimizing the sleep environment, and using specific cues and feedback to facilitate your child’s learning in addition to the use of the highly-effective sleep methods.
It has a hugely effective track record, especially when paired with the guidance of a trained Sleep Sense Consultant. Typically, with infants 4-18 months old, we see results in 2 weeks or less – sometimes it takes a little bit longer, but that’s pretty much the average, and naps settle in anywhere between 2-6 weeks. For toddlers and older children, nights tend to settle around 3-4 weeks in, and naps (for kids who still take naps,) tend to take a little longer.
For Toddlers and Older Children
And then there are toddlers and older children.
1. At this point, the only method that I know to be effective for toddlers and older children – who have not been previously sleep trained - is the Sleep Sense Method, primarily the Stay-in-the-Room Method, (paired with the other strategies and feedback recommended in the program.) This tends to be most effective with the guidance of a trained Sleep Sense Consultant due to how established these sleep habits tend to be in toddlers and older children.
How to Know Which Method is Right for Your Family
Are you still asking yourself, “How do I know which one is best for my family??”
Ask yourself these questions:
1. How old is my child – am I ready to start right now? Or do I want to wait until my child is a specific age?
2. How quickly do I want to achieve results?
3. How much protest crying am I comfortable with?
Go back and listen to which methods or which method aligns best with your answers.
And if you’re still confused or too overwhelmed or tired to figure it out – send me an email at ashley@playsleepgrow.com or schedule a free 15-minute Sleep Evaluation at www.calendly.com/playsleepgrow.
And if the method that’s best for your child and family is not the method I use for coaching or you don’t need help – that’s fine! I’m here to serve you!
And that’s it for today! I hope that was helpful in removing some of the overwhelm from your shoulders and dispelling some of the confusion around these sleep methods.
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Homework
Would you do me a favor? Would you please share this article with one of your favorite mom friends?
As a mom, I know that our relationships with other moms are some of the greatest resources we have. Mom-to-mom relationships are unbelievably fruitful and can make literally all the difference in the world.
And I would love the opportunity to be a little spark of peace in as many moms’ lives as possible.
I see you next week!
Speak soon.
