Transcript: How to Know When the 4-Month Regression is OVER
Play Sleep Grow - The Podcast
Episode 6
INTRO
Opening
Hello, sister!!
It’s been a hot minute. A whole lot has happened for me ... and I’m betting it has for you, too.
Before we get started, I wanted to make sure I remembered to let you know about this AMAZING free resource I just finished. I’m seriously geeking out about it.
Do you HATE having to guess what your baby’s sleep schedule should look like? Especially when it seems to change every couple of weeks??
Girl, no MORE! I created a simple 1-minute quiz and at the end of it, you will receive a sample sleep schedule specifically for YOUR BABY sent directly to your inbox.
Seriously, pause this recording and go snag it NOW – www.playsleepgrow.com/sleep- schedule-quiz
That’s www.playsleepgrow.com/sleep-schedule-quiz Okay, now that you’re back:
Today we’re talking about the 4 Month Sleep Regression – also known as the 4-Month- Progression and 4-Month Leap.
You’re going to learn what all is happening, why it messes with your baby’s sleep, and how to know it’s over so you can begin sleep training.
Let’s start with a quick story.
Storytime
Our eldest daughter, Emma, was sleep trained at 3 months old. And ever since then she’s been a rockstar sleeper. Truly.
I remember the nights of reaching out to make sure Emma was still breathing. Not being able to sleep properly until we had the Owlet sock and Snuza Hero to monitor her breathing. We’d use one or the other, and on nights when I was badly anxious, we’d use both.
She was a beautiful sleeper, which was AMAZING. But I was still TERRIFIED of SIDS for the whole first 12 months. After the first 6 months, it got better, but I didn’t truly breathe until we hit the 12-month-mark.
And then: bliss. It was like my fear evaporated. We’d made it.
Fast-forward to the last few months.
She is now 5 years old, nearly 6.
About a month ago she was diagnosed with generalized seizure disorder.
They started as absence seizures - which is when she looks like she’s daydreaming, but you can’t snap her out of it. It lasts anywhere from like 2-20 seconds for us.
And then on May 2 she had her first generalized tonic clonic seizure. That’s the kind you see in the movies, where the person falls to the ground and their limbs become stiff and they shake.
It was terrifying.
And then the nights came. I was already monitoring her all day long.
And at nights, when you have generalized tonic clonic seizures, you have an increased risk of SUDEP – which is the sudden unexpected death of someone with epilepsy. In their sleep, no other cause of death is found, but, surprisingly, many are found on their stomachs.
So, I put off sleeping. And when I did sleep, I set an alarm for every couple of hours. I was beyond exhausted.
At first she slept on her travel cot in our bedroom, and eventually we shifted her to her sleeping bag.
AND I WAS SO FRUSTRATED.
I thought we were past the phase where I had to worry about my baby dying in her sleep. We had worked hard and made such amazing progress.
And now I was devastated.
I felt like, WTH happened, what did I do wrong, and will this ever end?
What Is the 4-Month Regression
The 4-Month Regression is kind of like that.
And let me tell you from the get-go – it’s nothing you did wrong.
I’ll tell you WTH happened:
Your sweet, clever baby has been growing in leaps and bounds from the moment she was conceived.
And when her brain reaches a specific level of development around the 3-4 month mark, her sleep structure transforms – shifting from 2 sleep stages to 4.
She used to have 2 stages: active sleep – in which she dreams – and quiet sleep – which is restorative.
And NOW, your clever baby has 4 sleeps stages, including 2 light sleep stages, 1 deep sleep stage, and REM, or Rapid Eye Movement sleep.
The first light stage is what the Sleep Foundation refers to as “the ‘dozing off’ stage”. The body hasn’t fully relaxed yet, and it’s really easy to wake someone from this stage ... including baby.
The second stage is deeper than the first, but it’s still light sleep. Which means, it’s also easy to wake your baby from this stage.
The third stage is deep sleep – this is when the body really gets to relax. This is the stage of sleep that important for restoration of energy, supporting your immune system, memory, problem solving and creativity.
The final stage is REM sleep – Rapid Eye Movement. This is dream-o-clock. This is the stage when your brain becomes more active – almost as active as when you’re awake. Because of this, your body temporarily paralyzes your large muscle groups – not eyes, or breathing, thank goodness, but you won’t be able to stand up and walk around. Which is good, because if you could, it could be very dangerous.
Increased Awareness
AS you can see, going from active and quiet sleep to 4 sleep stages – 2 of which are light sleep – no wonder your baby is waking more often, right?!
AND at the same time, her awareness is also majorly transforming – she is becoming much more aware of her surroundings.
This means that, when you are putting her to bed, if she is being rocked or nursed or fed or snuggled with, etc. while she’s falling asleep or even just becoming drowsy – THAT is the last thing she remembers before falling asleep.
So her brain begins to associate that action, that environment with falling asleep.
Effect of Sleep Associations
Now, when she is going through the sleep cycle, rotating through each of the sleep stages, and she comes to the end of the cycle – she will come to the surface of sleep – which is totally normal!! This happens to EVERYONE several times throughout the night.
But what we as adults do is briefly check our surroundings to make sure we’re okay and safe and nothing’s changed, and go back to sleep. So quickly that we don’t even remember it in the morning.
What your baby is doing is checking her surroundings, noticing that her environment has changed – you’re not rocking her, or she’s not feeding, etc. – and her brain is like, “Wait! But I need that to fall back asleep! Waa!”
So she alerts you with her cry b/c that’s how she gets your help.
Now, once her brain is through this 4-month leap in development, she should be able to fall asleep again independently. Is this true for 100% of babies? No.
But is it true the majority of the time? YES!!!
That’s why most sleep experts will say that after the 4-month-regression, you’re in the clear to sleep train.
How to Know When the 4-Month Regression is OVER
So how exactly do we know when the 4-month regression is over?? Alright, good-news, bad-news time.
Bad news: it’s not an exact science.
Basically, if you’ve noticed sleep disturbances – like it taking way longer for baby to fall asleep, naps are suddenly short, she’s started having false starts where she’ll seem to fall asleep, but wake suddenly as soon as you transfer her – and she hasn’t been doing these things before
>>> AND baby is noticeably much more aware of her surroundings
>>> AND it’s been going on for at least 1-2 weeks,
>>> AND baby is 3-4 months old
Chances are good that this is the 4-month-regression.
Can you be 100% positive? No. Not unless you wait for your full-term, otherwise healthy baby to reach 5 months or older.
But here’s the good news: if you sleep train too soon, (meaning around 4 months) and your baby hasn’t finished the 4-month leap – it’s not the end of the world. And she will most likely still greatly benefit from the sleep training.
>> Now this is important, at this 3-4 month mark, most babies will still need a feed or two in the night. Some babies need even more! You NEED to ask your baby’s pediatrician to see how many feeds they want you to keep.
Does this mean you can’t sleep train? Absolutely not. You can still sleep train and keep a couple of feeds in there. As long as the pediatrician okays it.
Review
Alright, so that’s the long and the short of it. Today you learned
What all is happening to cause the 4-month regression
Why it messes with your baby’s sleep
And how to know it’s over so you can start sleep training
P.S.
And PS – we’re making progress again on the sleep. By the grace of God and the genius of many many dedicated men and women, there are sleeping monitors that help to alert for tonic clonic seizures in the night. And we’ve also found a special mattress and pillow that are breathable in case she does end up on her stomach during or after a seizure. So while we’re not back to normal, we are all starting to get more and better sleep.
I am so, so grateful for at least some back up so that I don’t feel like I have to be in hyper-aware mode all the time.
When there’s a regression, it’s okay to feel frustrated. Take a beat, step back, and figure out what is going on and how to move forward. You will make progress again. You just have to figure out how.
I’m Ashley Thompson - mother of 3, wife, lover of Jesus, and Certified Infant Sleep Consultant.
I offer 1:1 infant sleep coaching to help growing families reclaim structure and peace through sleep training.
And don’t forget – if you didn’t snag your free sample sleep schedule before – go now to
www.playsleepgrow.com/sleep-schedule-quiz
Speak soon!
LEGAL NOTE